What Must Not Be Said
by Nocturnalux
Summary: Izaya spies on Shizuo to find whether there is any weakness he can exploit. He finds out that Shizuo has a huge crush on him and keeping the information to himself decides to troll him by acting in the most friendly way. Shizuo/Izaya
1. Chapter 1

**Pairing:** Shizuo/Izaya

**Prompt:** Izaya's getting frustrated cause he never can predicts Shizuo's actions so he starts stalking him to find his weakness. One day, he finds out more than he wants to. He actually saw Shizuo masturbating while calling, surprisingly, Izaya's name.

* * *

><p>9 am. Shizuo wakes up.<br>Izaya was keeping a log. A mental one, lest he'd be tracked down but he was most definitely serious about his stalking. Because he could never find when the next vending machine was about to hurl in his direction, Izaya had taken to himself to spy on Shizuo and uncover his weakness. Super strength or not everyone had something that could be used against them and Izaya was bound to discover Shizuo's. This morning he was bolder than usual and not only was he perched right across Shizuo's place as he had bugged the place the previous night.  
>9.15 am. Shizuo grumbles something then reaches under the sheets and-<br>Izaya zoomed in with his binnacles. Now this was good, Shizuo was beating it off, an occasional groan escaping from him. Thanks to the wonders of technology Izaya could see it all in HD, from the slightly glazed eyes to his impressive erection and its oozing tip. Izaya whistled under his breath.  
>"Well I'll be damned, Shizu-chan."<br>"Izaya…"  
>He nearly dropped the binnacles. For a whole breathless second Izaya was sure that Shizuo had found him out somehow. Then he saw Shizuo tensing suddenly and coming all over the sheets, Izaya's name again on his lips.<br>"Eh…? Eh?"  
>Izaya was too stunned to know what to do. Then he smiled wickedly. For a few more days he kept his stalking pattern and eventually it became clear that calling out his name as he 'took care of business' was something of a routine. So one fine morning, after some preparations, Izaya knocked at Shizuo's door, purposefully interrupting his shower. Shizuo answered the door with a towel around his waist and nothing else, his typically angered expression changing into confusion as he saw Izaya.<br>"What are you doing here?"  
>"Hello neighbor!"<br>Izaya offered him an apple pie. Shizuo blinked at it blankly.  
>"Huh?"<br>"I just moved last night into the apartment right next to yours."  
>"Then move again. I don't want to see you around."<br>Shizuo was about to bang the door on his face.  
>"My, the walls sure are thin in this building. You can hear everything, really paper thin."<br>Izaya smiled innocently. Shizuo froze on the spot and was silent for a while.  
>"What do you mean by everything…?"<br>"Want some pie? And mind if I come in while I'm at it?"  
>Shizuo blocked the entrance squarely with his body. Then he had a change of heart, apparently.<br>"Don't think I'll be giving you any food. Or tea."  
>"No problem."<br>Izaya waltzed into the apartment and looked around intently as if he had not seen it from every possible angle when Shizuo wasn't around. Shizuo remained standing as if he did not quite know what to do in his own home.  
>"What do you mean by everything?"<br>"Why, everything is…everything, isn't it? That's a tautology. Self explanatory all around."  
>Shizuo frowned darkly.<br>"Don't screw with me with your fancy words."  
>"What about the pie?"<br>Shizuo threw the apple goodness at Izaya's face. Izaya swept bits of crumb from his eyes, licked the sweet filling from his lips and scooped some with his fingers that he proceeded to slowly lick. Shizuo watched with growing distress.  
>"Hmm…tasty. I'm such a good baker."<br>"Get out of my house right now!"  
>Izaya pouted.<br>"It's because you're so loud that it's difficult for me to sleep…"  
>Shizuo started then mumbled awkwardly.<br>"…no one ever complained so far so it should be fine."  
>"That's because everyone is terrified of you, Shizu-chan. You can be so scary~"<br>Shizuo was silence for a while. Then:  
>"Can you really hear…stuff from your apartment?"<br>Izaya nodded.  
>"Yes. Like when you boil water to make tea, when you take a shower, when you watch TV, when you listen to the radio…that kind of thing."<br>Shizuo seemed a bit relieved.  
>"Is that all?"<br>Izaya allowed himself a very sweet smile.  
>"Everything is everything by definition, is it not? Shi-zu-chan."<br>"Cut it with the complicated talk."  
>"Alright."<br>Izaya licked his fingers some more.  
>"I also heard you calling out my name a few times."<br>Shizuo colored immediately. He opened and closed his mouth a few times.  
>"It's- it's not like that! Don't you go getting the wrong idea now!"<p> 


	2. Chapter 2

Izaya looked puzzled.  
>"Wrong idea? What do you mean? I don't get it why you don't just call me on the phone if you want to talk but you probably knew I was moving in and wanted to chat, right?"<br>Shizuo smiled wanly.  
>"Yeah…that was it. Right. Sure."<br>"But what wrong idea could I possibly get, I wonder…"  
>"Dunno. You have weird ideas as it is."<br>"Ah. So you did call my name, Shizu-chan?"  
>Izaya tried his sweetest smile. This was almost too easy but far too fun.<br>"Didn't want you to move in next door, that's all."  
>Izaya thought that it was cute that Shizuo was so bad at lying that his story kept changing. He could sense panic flashing intermittently from Shizuo.<br>"So sorry."  
>"Why did you move here anyway? Plenty of other places around."<br>"Rent's cheap. Close to work, too."  
>Shizuo snorted and crossed his arms.<br>"Oh really? Since when do you even have a job."  
>"Shizu-chan, so mean~. You're still working as a bodyguard?"<br>"Yeah- wait, none of your business."  
>Who knew that finding information on Shizuo was as easy as actually asking him.<br>"I just wanted to have an idea of your work schedule to keep the noise at a minimum when you're resting. Bodyguards keep odd hours and so I so I could time my schedule as not to disturb you."  
>Shizuo blushed. He was of course completely unaware that Izaya had his daily routine down to a t, including the number of cigarettes consumed and an average of people kicked to the curb per hour.<br>"Oh. That's okay, I'm a heavy sleeper."  
>"Great. Sorry for the pie, I wanted you to share some…"<br>Izaya licked more juicy sweetness. Shizuo swallowed.  
>"Er, sorry. Didn't mean to do that I just go carried away. You know, short temper and all."<br>"Sure. No problems."  
>Izaya could see a bulge barely concealed by the towel.<br>"So…nice talking to you and all but I'm kind of busy so…I'll see you around, I guess."  
>"You most definitely will! Shi-zu-chan~"<br>Shizuo pretty much threw him out which was precisely what Izaya expected. He returned to his apartment that was decked with several screens showing Shizuo's place and sat in front of the one displaying the bedroom. Shizuo had predictably ditched the towel and was in bed, pumping himself madly. Izaya had added some extra cameras and they were without a doubt worth it. This was better than the internet. And Izaya loved the internet. He put on his headphones for better audio.  
>"Fuck…Izaya, hate you- but so hot-"<br>Shizuo was getting worked out fast and Izaya had to intervene. So he knocked on the adjacent wall and piped:  
>"Shizu-chan! You called?"<br>The priceless look of horror in Shizuo's face as he suddenly stopped made into the top ten things Orihara Izaya absolutely loved, it was even ahead of fatty tuna on that hierarchy. And the internet. He could see Shizuo trying franticly to think and judging by the silence failing greatly.  
>"Is something wrong, Shizu-chan? Want me to come over?"<br>"No! No, no need- I'm fine."  
>If Izaya were a decent fellow he would have left it at that but if he were so he would not be Izaya.<br>"See, aren't the walls thin? We can chat through the wall just like this!"  
>Shizuo turned a shade of ashy grey.<br>"Yeah…don't want to bother you, so…"  
>"You must be busy. I'll leave you alone, then."<br>"'kay."  
>Shizuo got a handkerchief and bit into it as he resumed masturbating. Izaya had a feeling that Shizuo was doubly aroused by all this, judging by the way he struggled to keep silent which only amplified his panting gasps. He came forming Izaya's name with his lips, silently.<p> 


	3. Chapter 3

Shizuo did not exactly know how he ended up at Izaya's welcome party. If there was one thing he did not want it was welcoming the louse. But there was free booze, plenty of cheering and he half hoped his neighbors would realize that Izaya oozed dangerous vibes and kick him out of the buildings. Unfortunately he had underestimate Izaya's charm and how well it worked. Especially with the females. Shizuo tried not to brood too much on this but for the last hour Izaya had been drinking and flirting some hot girls that Shizuo had never even seen before.  
>"Eh? Izaya-kun is a friend of Shizuo-kun?"<br>Shizuo perked up his hears as his name was mentioned. It was heavily implying by the girl's tone that Shizuo was not the friendly type.  
>"Yes! We went to school together. Such wonderful days those were."<br>On rainy days Shizuo could still feel the ghostly pain from his stab wound. Wonderful days indeed.  
>"Izaya-kun doesn't seem the nostalgic type. Say, do you have a girlfriend?"<br>Shizuo almost growled. Not only were they not getting rid of Izaya as they were eager to jump his pants. Shizuo was not sure which of these he found more distasteful. Izaya smiled liberally.  
>"I'm afraid I haven't met the right one yet."<br>Shizuo downed another beer. He was getting angry so he might as well get drunk. With his luck Izaya would have him evicted from his apartment on some fabricated evidence as was his wont. He suspected that Izaya had moved here just to mess with him and it was working all too well. Curse Orihara Izaya.  
>"-what about you, Shizu-chan?"<br>Izaya was asking him something but distracted as he was Shizuo had missed it. Thankfully, or not, one of the giddy females (Shizuo was beginning to loathe them) chimed in.  
>"No way Shizuo-kun would ever get a girlfriend! He's so gloomy! But you two must be close for you to '-chan' him, I'm jealous now!"<br>Shizuo nearly choked on his beer.  
>"Don't go saying unnecessary things."<br>And with this Shizuo went away. Izaya excused himself and followed suit.  
>"Shizu-chan, wait up!"<br>Instead Shizuo picked up his step and Izaya had to run after him down the corridor. Then all of a sudden he halted.  
>"Why are you acting so nice?"<br>"We're neighbors now. And neighbors should get along, right?"  
>Izaya tried his cutest most harmless smile. Shizuo did not look at all impressed and kept frowning at him. Izaya broke the silence.<br>"Besides, isn't it about time we bury the hatchet and let bygones be bygones? It's been such a long time. It does not good, holding on to a grudge."  
>Shizuo grunted.<br>"Easy for you to say. You're not the one that got framed."  
>Izaya nodded gravely.<br>"I am so sorry, Shizu-chan."  
>Just like Izaya expected Shizuo's eyes widened, caught by surprise. Izaya firmly believed that he deserved an Oscar.<br>"Like I believe you."  
>Shizuo hurried away. Izaya returned to his apartment. Normally he'd spend most of the night roaming the streets of Tokyo but spying on Shizuo was his new entertainment and one that did not grow old. He stationed himself behind his many screens, Shizuo was in the living room, staring at nothing in particular and chain smoking. Izaya knew what to do. He clambered into his bed, he could still see the screens even as he bounced up and down. The creaking sounds eventually reached Shizuo, his frown deepening to a chasm. It was time to kick it up a notch. Izaya tuned his voice to a raspy moan:<br>"…more, don't stop! Hng…"  
>He bounced faster and stifled a giggling fit. Shizuo looked mortified. With a final sigh that was very convincing, Izaya stopped and rolled on his belly to better watch was going on in the apartment next door. Shizuo was taking a shower as the sound of running water implied. Izaya devoured the scene and was amazed to realize that Shizuo was showering with cold water while he muttered invectives against Izaya. Without a doubt, this was too much fun.<p> 


	4. Chapter 4

The next night Izaya knocked on the door of Shizuo's apartment again.  
>"What do you want now?"<br>Izaya could tell right away by the bags under his eyes that Shizuo had barely slept. Then again he already knew that from his footage.  
>"I just made some miso soup but I'm not sure if it's good…could you try it for me?"<br>Shizuo hmphed.  
>"You? Cooking? Like hell. I bet there's poison in it."<br>Izaya shuffled.  
>"I really wanted you to try but if you're that opposed against it…"<br>The door to Izaya's apartment was ajar and the tasty scent of miso filled the corridor. Shizuo hesitated. Izaya made as if to leave.  
>"Okay fine, I'll try your stupid soup. But you're drinking from the same bowl, got it?"<br>"Shizu-chan, if I didn't know better I'd think you want an indirect kiss."  
>Shizuo blushed immediately. He was regretting this whole idea but somehow he was already in Izaya's kitchen sampling heavily scented and flavorful broth.<br>"This is actually good."  
>"You sound surprised. But thanks."<br>Izaya took him on the offer and did drink from the same bowl. He had cleared all screens and tucked them away. Izaya motioned him to sit on the couch and Shizuo obeyed because he felt awkward standing there. Shizuo cleared his throat a few times.  
>"You know- last night…erm, I, huh…kind of heard you and-"<br>"How horrible, Shizu-chan! I'm sorry."  
>Forget the Oscar, it did no justice to Izaya's amazing talent.<br>"No need to apologize. It's just that- you know, sleeping around is dangerous."  
>"Thanks for your concern. But I always use protection."<br>Izaya produced a condom from a back pocket.  
>"Oh. Right. Well, that's good then. None of my business anyway."<br>Shizuo cursed himself, he should have kept his mouth shut on the whole subject. Izaya felt as if he had just won the jackpot without even having to tamper much with the mechanism either.  
>"I've been wondering…what kind of girl do you like?"<br>Shizuo blinked at the question.  
>"The cute kind, I guess."<br>"Do you have a particular kind you like?"  
>"No really…"<br>Unfortunately his type was the slim, snarky and sexy kind that also happened not to be a girl. Shizuo blamed Izaya a hundred per cent for it.  
>"I see. As for me, it takes a lot to satisfy me. I have a thing for strong men and I admit I have a soft spot for blondes."<br>Shizuo hated the silence that followed. He sensed that Izaya was making fun of him but was unsure of how to react so he got up and added hurriedly,  
>"Got to go now."<br>"Could do me a favor? My shower isn't working properly and I couldn't find the landlord. Would you mind taking a look and see if you can fix it?"  
>Shizuo did indeed mind it a lot. But one thing that Izaya was beginning to realize Shizuo, for all his issues, could not deny an honest request. If he saw no guile in it then he would comply. In other words: like taking candy from a baby, super strength notwithstanding.<br>"Okay."  
>As it turned out the malfunction was due to a loose screw and in no time Shizuo had fixed it.<br>"There, all- what the hell?"  
>Izaya smiled. While Shizuo was busy with the shower he had taken the liberty of stripping down all the way to his birthday suit.<br>"I can't shower with my clothes on, Shizu-chan."  
>Shizuo blushed yet again, this time all the way to the roots of his hair.<br>"You could've waited!"  
>He averted his eyes suddenly after some completely unintentional staring.<br>"But I couldn't shower last night or this morning…so I'm still a bit sticky, you know?"  
>Shizuo flailed.<br>"I don't want to know!"  
>"I thought you were asking…"<br>Personally Izaya did not believe in too much information.  
>"I got to go."<br>And with this Shizuo was gone. Izaya filled the tub with warm water, added some oils to it then splashed around merrily. He was also recording the activity on Shizuo's place so he could check it out later.  
>"I wonder if I should tell Shizu-chan about that meme about the kitties that get killed every time someone jerks off."<br>He spoke hardly above a whisper to make sure he was not overheard. Izaya was almost sorry for Shizuo. Keyword being, of course, 'almost'.


	5. Chapter 5

"-hello? You've so out of it as of late, Shizuo."  
>Tom sighed. His bodyguard had developed a tendency of staring into nothing at particular and he was a bit worried.<br>"Sorry. Just having problems back at the flat."  
>After years of trying to forget how good Izaya looked naked, with little success it must be said, he found it impossible to banish the image from his mind after last night's stunt. His jaw ached from biting into the handkerchief and he was at a loss as how to react to Izaya, the nice and improved version. As annoying as snarky Izaya was Shizuo could always shout at him, chase him around and throw vending machines at him but doing that was out of the question when he was so bloody nice. And it was made so much worse when he had to deal with the weirdness on a daily basis and in the privacy of his home.<br>"Why don't you move, then?"  
>"No need, it'll be okay."<br>The idea had occurred to him but it stank of cowardice. Shizuo would never be able to walk with his head held high if he allowed Izaya to chase him from his own apartment. He was mulling over this when a chirpy voice reached him from across the street.  
>"Shizu-chan! Hi there! What a coincidence."<br>"Isn't that…Orihara Izaya?"  
>Indeed it was. Izaya crossed the road and presented Shizuo with a bento box. Tom waited for all hell to break loose and took shelter behind a vending machine.<br>"That's for me?"  
>"I made too much food so you're free to have some."<br>Shizuo looked at the bento and shuffled.  
>"And it's not poisoned?"<br>"Tell you what, why don't we have lunch together? I'm sure Tom-san wouldn't mind. There's miso soup, too. And milk."  
>"I don't know…I'm kind of busy as it is."<br>Tom watched this scene with growing amazement. He did not understand any of this but he knew that making an enemy out of Izaya was never wise.  
>"Shizuo, how about you take the rest of the day off?"<br>"But-"  
>"It's okay. I was about to call it a day anyway. Nice to see you, Orihara-san."<br>Izaya half dragged half led Shizuo to a nearby park. He opened the bento and Shizuo nearly gasped at the neat meal before him. It looked tasty, too.  
>"I only have a pair of chopsticks so we'll have to share."<br>Izaya picked you an octopus sausage, ate part of it then offered the rest to Shizuo who ended up taking it.  
>"When did you learn how to cook anyway?"<br>"I am a man of many talents. Eggroll?"  
>"Sure- no wait, people are staring at us…"<br>Izaya blinked as if he had not noticed the whispering crowd that kept looking at them and pointing.  
>"So? Is that a problem? I think it might even be good for your reputation. Don't forget the milk, I'll sample it first so you can be sure that there is no poison."<br>Izaya drank from the bottle and licked a milk moustache. Shizuo tried to keep his mind from running away with him.  
>"What do you mean, good for my reputation?"<br>Shizuo hesitated before he tried the milk.  
>"Well, people are afraid of you because you're scary. I'm sure they'll change their minds if they see you being so amicable like this. You might even meet a nice girl of the cute kind."<br>Shizuo almost choked on his drink.  
>"I guess…"<br>"You know, it's not like you're not handsome. You could easily pick up some pretty chick, I'm sure."  
>"Huh…"<br>"Try the rice and the sesame seeds."  
>Shizuo munched.<br>"This is pretty good."  
>"Why, thank you. Want me to make you lunch from now on?"<br>"That'd be great- I mean, no need for that."  
>"Okay. Oh look, ice cream."<br>Izaya bought two vanilla cones from a nearby shop and returned right away.  
>"There you go, Shizu-chan. Just for you."<br>Shizuo took it and mumbled awkwardly,  
>"You don't have to."<br>"But it's a hot day."  
>Izaya happily lapped at the melting sugary stuff. Shizuo stared and kept on staring, his cone melting and dripping un-eaten.<br>"Tsk, you'll dirty your clothes."  
>Izaya licked the trickle of ice cream from Shizuo's fingers. Shizuo widened his eyes comically.<br>"Eh, got to go- toilet."  
>And with this Shizuo was nowhere to be seen, gobbling up the entire cone in one go and getting a major headache in the process. Izaya waited for a bit then tiptoed after him.<p> 


	6. Chapter 6

"Damn, damn, damn, DAMN. What's he up to, that Izaya?"  
>Shizuo paced up and down the public bathroom. He locked the place after scaring everyone away so that he could vent in peace. He also happened to be hard. On the outside Izaya got on his belly and looked through a window that allowed him to see Shizuo perfectly. A thick barrier of bushes kept Izaya invisible and he was doubly excited because if spying on Shizuo was already thrilling, doing it without any cameras or binnacles involved was even better. Shizuo smoked three cigarettes in a row then finally gave in and unzipped his pants and pulled out his erection. He leant against the wall, one hand firmly planted on the tiles, the other pumping himself fast and furiously. Izaya was almost disappointed that Shizuo came without calling out his name but he still enjoyed the spectacle immensely. Izaya stuck around long enough to see Shizuo dig his nails into the tiles which left a hole in the wall as he splashed his jizz into the urinal. But that was only as long as he could linger. A plan had just occurred to him and it included getting back to their bench before Shizuo got there. It also included applying the still warm soup bowl to his forehead for a while. He hunched over and waited.<br>Shizuo returned almost right away.  
>"I should get going, thanks for the lunch- hey, you okay?"<br>Izaya tried his best smile.  
>"I think the heat is getting to me just a tad."<br>Shizuo hesitated a bit but Izaya did look feverish. He checked his temperature, putting his large hand on Izaya's forehead.  
>"You're burning up! I'll take you home."<br>Izaya tried to get up weakly enough and of course Shizuo supported him.  
>"It's okay, really. I don't want to be a bother."<br>"I'll take you home and that's that."  
>At times, Izaya thought, it was simply far too easy.<p>

True to his word Shizuo escorted Izaya to their building and not content with that he insisted on seeing him all the way to his apartment. Izaya leant on him as they stepped out of the elevator and Shizuo was by now worried.  
>"I'll carry you to your place."<br>Shizuo picked him up as one would a feather.  
>"I'm sorry I'm being such a burden."<br>"It's fine. You made lunch and all so…yeah."  
>Shizuo was about to reach his destination when he spotted someone standing right in front of his door. A familiar someone. With a lab coat.<br>"Shizuo! I dropped by to see you- oh and Izaya, too! So you finally told him how you feel? It's about time, Shizuo! I thought it would never happen-"  
>"Shut up! Anyway, Izaya is sick…so see what's wrong with him."<br>Now here was something Izaya had not anticipated. But like all things it could be turned to his advantage.  
>"I'm feeling better, Shizu-chan. You can put me down now. I'd be very thankful if you got me some ice."<br>"Oh. Okay, I'll go buy some. Shinra, you did graduate from med school, right?"  
>"Sure did. I just lack a license, it's a technicality, really. I'll take good care of Izaya."<br>Shizuo frowned.  
>"You better. I'll be back soon."<br>"Thanks."  
>They both waited for Shizuo to be gone.<br>"You're not really sick, are you?"  
>"Nope."<br>Shinra shook his head and adjusted his glasses.  
>"So wicked of you. Poor Shizuo doesn't stand a chance. And he's so in love with you, has been so for ages."<br>"I don't think you're supposed to be telling me this."  
>"What I really want to know is, have you tried out that amazing body of his yet?"<br>Shinra jumped up and down like a kid in a candy store.  
>"Not yet. But I'm getting to it."<br>"So you're not living together?"  
>"Almost. Next door."<br>"To think you'd go that far to stalk him. I am impressed."  
>"Why, thanks."<br>"As a doctor it's my duty to remind you to use protection. And tell me all about how Shizuo's body works."  
>Izaya crossed his arms.<br>"Now Shinra, I am tempted to tell Celty on this."  
>"Scientific curiosity just can't be helped."<br>"Heh, right."  
>"Oh and don't forget that Kanra-chan would need contraceptives."<br>"Yes, she would. Unfortunately she doesn't exist."  
>"She's as real as this 'nice Izaya' persona you have going on."<br>"Indeed."  
>"Orihara Izaya, I believe you may be the very personification of evil."<br>"Will you tell on me?"  
>"And lose my bet? No way."<br>"What bet?"  
>Shinra smiled happily.<br>"There are some things even you don't know."


	7. Chapter 7

Shizuo went all the way to the Family Mart on the adjacent block to get the ice. He suspected that asking the neighbors would not avail him much, they'd just panic and if he told them why he needed it, those harpies would flock to Izaya. And that Shizuo did not at all want.  
>Still, he felt a bit guilty for taking such a long time, even if Shinra was with Izaya. He knocked on the door of Izaya's apartment.<br>"Come in, it's open."  
>Shizuo found Izaya lying on the couch.<br>"Hey, feeling any better? And where's that Shinra?"  
>"He left already. Turns out it's just a case of mild heat stroke, nothing serious. I just have to rest and drink plenty of liquids."<br>Shizuo sighed in relief. The good doctor's presence here divided Shizuo, in a way he was glad there was someone to diagnose Izaya's case but Shinra could be terribly inconvenient and who knew what he had told Izaya.  
>"That's good. Here. I'll go make you some tea."<br>Shizuo placed the ice on Izaya's forehead, very careful so not to touch him directly.  
>"Thanks. Shinra left you a note on the table."<br>"Green tea is okay?"  
>"Sure, no problem."<br>Shizuo read the note as he fixed the tea. He suspected its contents but he still found himself blushing as a condom fell from the folded paper. The missive did little to abate his embarrassment: 'Shizuo, don't worry. Izaya will be back to his old self in no time. His sexy old self if I may add. As a doctor I must encourage you to opt for safe sex. Izaya's been around the block a few times. Make sure to put to good use this friendly gift from your physician. Good luck, I'll be rooting for you! Shinra.'  
>He crumbled the note and put it in his pocket, condom included. Shizuo could only hope that Izaya had not read this.<br>"Hey, did Shinra say something weird?"  
>Shizuo served him a steaming cup.<br>"Not really. Why do you ask?"  
>"Oh, no reason. You know, it's just that Shinra has a crackpot sense of humor."<br>"He can be pretty funny every now and then."  
>But of course not half as amusing as Shizuo in all his flailing cluelessness.<br>"Just don't go believing him too much."  
>"Don't worry, telling veritable information from fabrication is what I do best."<br>This did nothing to reassure Shizuo.  
>"Right. You should move to bed now."<br>He helped Izaya in this endeavor.  
>"I owe you one, Shizu-chan."<br>Izaya smiled and Shizuo's heart leapt.  
>"No problem. Since you're a bit under the weather, how about I make you dinner tonight…just an idea."<br>"I'd like that."  
>"Okay, that settles it then. What kind of food do you like?"<br>"Fatty tuna."  
>Shizuo nodded.<br>"If you need something just call."  
>"Will do. I'm a bit hot."<br>Izaya removed his shirt and made a lame attempt at doing away with his pants. Shizuo wished he had made his exit earlier because now he could not leave, not when Izaya was wiggling out of his tight jeans or at least trying to.  
>"Huh, do you want help with that?"<br>Izaya gave him his best shy smile. It was the product of a lot of training and he was often sad that he rarely had the opportunity of using it.  
>"Thanks. Guess I'm weaker than I thought."<br>Shizuo hesitated as to how to go about this. Izaya had already unzipped and pulled down the pants low enough to show some hip. Shizuo swallowed and took a deep breath. Normally Shizuo would curse Izaya was for being so sexy but even that felt wrong when he was feverish and so vulnerable. Eventually Shizuo lowered the pants down Izaya's knees, eyes covering every bit of smooth white skin, and removed them altogether.  
>"Thanks a bunch, Shizu-chan. I feel so much better."<br>To make the point as clear as possible Izaya got on his belly and cuddled with the pillow. Shizuo stared at the mostly naked body before him, following its curves all the way to the ass that the boxers could not quite conceal. There were two things that made Shizuo lose control, the obvious one was anger, the other one was lust. He counted until ten very slowly. Izaya seemed to be dozing off. Shizuo wondered if it was okay to touch him a bit, Izaya might not even notice it.


	8. Chapter 8

"Hey, Izaya? You asleep?"  
>Shizuo whispered softly. There was no reply. He reached a compromise between his growing desire and his conscience by gently shaking Izaya shoulder as if to wake him up. It did not work for which Shizuo was not exactly sorry. After all, if Izaya were to wake up then Shizuo would never dare lightly touching his slightly wet hair as he did now. Izaya rolled on his back and Shizuo nearly had a heart attack. For a whole minute Shizuo did not move and hardly breathed. At length he realized that Izaya was still sleeping.<br>This new position allowed Shizuo to see pretty much everything. Shizuo waited a bit then mustered enough courage to trace his fingertips down his arm, then along the chest, following the flat belly and pressing the belly button ever so slightly. Shizuo moved to cast light caresses along his sides. He brought their lips together in a quasi kiss and forced himself to pull back. Shizuo knew that he should leave right now before things got too out of hand.  
>Just then Izaya stretched lazily and slowly opened his eyes. Shizuo was too horrified to process thought to the point of actually employing words.<br>"Nice dream…"  
>"Eh? Hm, yeah. It's all a dream, Izaya. All a dream."<br>This was an unexpected solution and Shizuo jumped on it right away. He kissed him again, this time adding some tongue to it. Shizuo's hands roved not quite aimlessly. The last time he had actually come in his pants was during one of their earlier fights but he was getting close to it now. A weird mental dialogue was taking place in his mind, White winged Shizuo told Grey Shizuo to stop this very moment while he still had a shred of integrity left to which Black forked tail Shizuo retorted that it had been far too long, that this was a golden opportunity and that Izaya already slept around with random people as it was.  
>Shizuo rubbed Izaya through his underwear and gasped as he became hard under his hand. Black Shizuo triumphed, White Shizuo flitted away saying something about how none of this was any of his fault. Shizuo unbuckled and grinded their erections together, the sweet friction edging him on. Izaya let out a low moan, hands digging into the sheets. Shizuo lowered Izaya's boxers because he could not stand the obstacle of any clothes between his heated flesh and Izaya.<br>"It's just a dream, Izaya…so just go with it-"  
>Shizuo followed his own advice by suddenly tensing and coming all over Izaya, spraying him with his thick whitish liquid. His climax was made even more mind blowing by the fact that Izaya came shortly after, his entire body convulsing as he smeared both himself and Shizuo. For a while Shizuo could only stay put, enjoying the warm fuzzy bliss of his afterglow. And then he realized the wet mess he had made and panic paralyzed him all over again. White Shizuo was back in full force and informing him that he had told him so, yes he had, but did Shizuo ever listen to his conscience? Clearly he didn't. Shizuo shook his head forcibly to banish these thoughts. If Izaya were to wake up now then he was beyond doomed.<br>Shizuo checked the sheets and as luck would have they were clean. He hurriedly wiped his clothes and was going to do the same to Izaya when he found himself staring all over again. Gleaming threads of semen mapped his skin and a sweet smile made Shizuo want to kiss him.  
>It was a spur of a moment decision, Shizuo did not even know he was doing it until he was actually licking the salty stuff from Izaya's belly and chest. He swept his tongue until he was confident that Izaya would not be bothered by stickiness. After this he wiped him with a tissue, replaced his boxers in their proper place and prayed to the heavens that Izaya would go on believing this to be a dream and nothing more. White Shizuo told him that people who took advantage of feverish sleeping boys had no right to call for divine protection, in fact they had a special spot in hell saved just for them. Black Shizuo had withered away and had nothing to add.<br>Izaya waited until Shizuo was gone, the door latch hardly making a sound as he exited, to open his eyes and stretch again.  
>"My, cat wash. How kinky of you, Shizu-chan. You get 7 out of 10. There's still room of improvement."<p> 


	9. Chapter 9

"This fatty tuna is great! Did you make it yourself?"  
>"Er, no. I bought it."<br>Shizuo wished he had not invited Izaya for dinner but he did not have the heart to deny him his favorite food. In a way it might make up for what he had done. Since then White Shizuo had been harping nonstop in his mind and telling him that nothing short of harakiri could ever make up for it. He found it very difficult to look Izaya in the eyes and even more so as he ate his beloved fish bits with such relish.  
>"Thank you, Shizu-chan. You're really a nice guy, to go to that extent for me."<br>Shizuo blushed. He wanted Izaya to say something snarky, maybe that would make him feel less guilty.  
>"No problem. It was on sale anyway."<br>"Where did you get it from?"  
>"Simon's place."<br>"Then we know for sure that it's a 100% fish with no people in it."  
>Shizuo smiled wanly.<br>"Yeah."  
>At least it seemed that Izaya did not recall what had happened so Shizuo was off the hook. He hoped that White Shizuo would go away eventually, contending with him was already bad enough.<br>"By the way, Shizu-chan. I had a strange dream today while I was napping."  
>Shizuo choked on his drink. For the next minute he could only splutter, blush, then splutter some more. Izaya took the opportunity for patting him on the back hard.<br>"Shizu-chan! Are you okay?"  
>"…fine."<br>Izaya resumed his seat and picked up another juicy bit of tuna.  
>"Anyway, it was a really weird dream. And where's Freud when you need him?"<br>"Was he in the dream…?"  
>Izaya chuckled.<br>"Oh dear, no, no. I don't remember who was in the dream but I am sure it was not Freud. Or Jung."  
>Shizuo sighed in visible and audible relief. He did not exactly know who these people were but at least he was still off the hook. Izaya was very amused.<br>"Right."  
>Izaya let the silence go uninterrupted for a while except for the occasional sound of chopsticks hitting china. Just long enough for Shizuo to be lulled into a sense of a security. Then,<br>"But you know…it was embarrassing. Having a wet dream at this age."  
>Shizuo choked on wasabi this time around. It took a lot of water to solve his affliction and White Shizuo told him that he was getting precisely what he deserved.<br>"I don't think it's weird. I mean, it's normal…I think."  
>Izaya thoughtfully chewed on an uncut cucumber. Not an accidental choice, of course, he had provided it for just the purpose of making Shizuo as uncomfortable as possible.<br>"Really? I suppose you're right. Does it happen to you?"  
>Poor Shizuo flailed, all of a sudden it was difficult to pick his food with the chopsticks. He was by now blushing furiously.<br>"At times."  
>Every other night, in fact and they always featured Izaya. And judging by the way things were going, things were more likely to get worse on that front.<br>"Hmm…I wonder if it's lack of sex that's the problem. What do you think?"  
>Shizuo paled.<br>"Huh- I dunno."  
>Izaya bit the cucumber.<br>"Nowadays I usually just go solo and I don't have much to fantasize about except for random porn and that gets a bit old after a while."  
>Shizuo gobbled a while mould of rice.<br>"Maybe you should…erm, you know…just think about someone you like…that tends to work…"  
>With each word Shizuo's voice became lower until he was practically whispering.<br>"No one comes to mind, though. Is that how you do it?"  
>"I guess…"<br>Izaya clapped and bowed dramatically.  
>"I'm sorry, I just assumed everyone did it and went ahead and asked. It was inconsiderate of me."<br>"It's okay."  
>"Say, Shizu-chan. Do you know that meme? The one that goes 'Every time you masturbate...God kills a kitty. Please, think of the kitties.'"<br>"Huh…it's a good thing that doesn't happen."  
>Izaya burst out laughing.<br>"Heh, isn't it? Well, that's decided then! From now on I'll go cruising more often, that should keep weird dreams at bay. Thanks for having this conversation, I feel so much more at ease now."  
>Shizuo's heart dropped to his feet.<br>"Don't mention it."  
>"Do you want that shrimp nigiri?"<br>"Not really. You can have it."  
>"Thanks."<br>Izaya picked it off Shizuo's plate and slowly ate it. To better savor it, of course. In his mind Shizuo banged his head against the table, repeatedly.


	10. Chapter 10

For the rest of the dinner Shizuo kept on mentally banging his head against the table and when Izaya happily declared that he was going out for the night and waltzed away Shizuo proceeded to bang his head against the wall instead. Not more than five minutes had passed of this mental torture when his phone rang. Shizuo growled into it.  
>"Shinra, what the devil you want?"<br>"Good evening to you too! How's it going with Izaya?"  
>"Did you tell him something weird?"<br>"Not at all! So where is he?"  
>"Dunno. Out clubbing, don't know where."<br>Shinra sighed.  
>"And you let him go? Alone?"<br>"None of my business."  
>"How about I give you the address of his favorite club-"<br>"Don't want it. Like I said, it's none of my business."  
>"I see. That's okay. I suppose you're fine when he brings some guy home…or maybe he won't wait that long, you know how Izaya is, and just does it right there. With multiple partners, too, since this is Izaya we're talking about-"<br>"What's that address again?"  
>Shinra smiled a not too innocent smile.<p>

Shizuo expected it to be a shady place and he was not proved wrong. The club was lit by weird blue fluorescent tubes that glowed and waxed at intervals. Shizuo was not even sure why it was called a club at all since there was hardly any music apart from a low rhythmic throbbing sound that seemed to reverberate in his very bones. There were, already, plenty of dark sofas spread a bit all over the place and going all the way to the bar.  
>He did not have to look around much to find Izaya as he was the center of a cluster of guys. Shizuo was tempted to punch them out of his way but he did not have to because Izaya spotted him right away and waved at him.<br>"Shizu-chan! Hi there! Talk to you guys later."  
>Izaya left the group of worshippers, he had too many of those than what he knew to do with them, and joined Shizuo.<br>"What a coincidence, isn't it?"  
>"Yeah…"<br>Shizuo had rushed to the spot without even coming up with an excuse for being here at all. Fortunately Izaya did not make an issue of it and just led him to the bar.  
>"So what'll you have? It's on me."<br>"I'm usually on the other side of the counter…"  
>"Heh, so true. Mister, two screwdrivers."<br>Shizuo cast a side glance at Izaya. So these were his cruising clothes, tight jeans, a see through shirt that was more like a second skin than anything else, thin fringe of fur adding that trademark touch.  
>"Didn't know you wore earrings."<br>"Do you like them? I only wear them when I go out."  
>Izaya tucked his hair to better expose the tiny black piece of metal.<br>"Looks good on you."  
>Shizuo downed his drink in one gulp.<br>"Thanks. I'm so glad you're here, I was getting lonely. I didn't know you were into clubbing or I would've invited you."  
>Shizuo, as a matter of fact, was no fact of clubs at all.<br>"You didn't look lonely to me."  
>"Oh, those are just some guys that want to sleep with me. They don't really count."<br>Shizuo ordered some straight vodka. It was clear that he would need it if he were to survive this weird night. By now it was clear that coming here was a mistake but there was no way he could leave. At least his reputation of being so scary and whatnot kept shady individuals from approaching Izaya and that suited Shizuo just fine.  
>"Seems like you get that a lot, huh."<br>"I suppose."  
>Shizuo brooded darkly.<br>"So…you're gay?"  
>Alcohol unloosened Shizuo's tongue.<br>"Not really. I don't care much when it comes to gender, you know? It's not something I take into consideration."  
>"Yeah."<br>Shizuo finished the bottle and ordered another. He knew that he should not be drinking this much but he was about to stop caring. Izaya was still sipping his screwdriver, slowly. Ever shrewd in his ways, he knew that his alcohol toleration was no match to Shizuo's and he needed to play his cards very wisely at this point.  
>The night wore on with light chitchat on Izaya's part and gloomy one liners from Shizuo. Somehow Shizuo ended up lying on one of the comfortable sofas next to a boy that looked a lot like Izaya. Shizuo was drunk enough not to care for the fact that he was in a public place, within arm's reach was someone that was lithe enough and pretty enough to pass for Izaya, even to his blurry vision.<p> 


	11. Chapter 11

Shizuo clambered unto him and kissed him fully in the mouth. At which point his eyes cleared enough for him to realize that this was not an Izaya lookalike, he _was_ Izaya. But apparently too groggy to have realized precisely what was going on. Shizuo's dread was suddenly lessened by a bout of sudden inspiration. He got a handkerchief and whispered into his ear, trying to mask his voice as much as possible.  
>"Can I blindfold you?"<br>Izaya was the kinky kind and this seemed like a place where such things were common place. Just taking a look around at the many couples making out all around proved the point.  
>"Oh, blindfolding…nice. I'm all for."<br>Shizuo applied the bit of cloth. He silenced White Shizuo by telling him that if Izaya was willing to have sex with strangers then he might as well do it with someone he had known since middle school. To which there was no mental reply.  
>Izaya lifted his flimsy shirt and spread himself on the sofa. Shizuo trembled with expectation.<br>"Condom's in my back pocket, stranger."  
>"I got my own."<br>"Hmm…I love a man who brings his own rubber."  
>Shizuo kissed him again, knowing that this was Izaya, made him deepen the kiss until he was sucking on tongue while his hands strayed under the shirt to tweak a nipple. Shizuo hardly breathed in between kisses and he swallowed Izaya's moans. He had longed for this for such a long time that he nearly tore the tight jeans to shreds and he did rip apart Izaya's boxers. Shizuo did away with the shirt, transparent as it was it was not the same as naked skin. Izaya squirmed invitingly, half-erect already.<br>Shizuo went for a slow kiss as he traced caresses all over Izaya's naked body, stroking his sides, touching the bellybutton, prying his knees open. Somehow it occurred to Shizuo through the thickening haze in his mind that most bars carried milk to mix with certain cocktails so he picked a bottle and coated his fingers with it. It was not the best lube but it was better than nothing.  
>Shizuo inserted one finger and wiggled it around. He wanted to skip prep altogether but he did not trust his tremendous strength not to kick in, so he needed to ready Izaya as much as possible. He added another finger and scissored, pushing them in out. Izaya clenched when Shizuo hit the right spot and grew fully hard.<br>"There…just give it to me."  
>At the back of his head Shizuo thanked Shinra. He pulled out his aching erection and had to take a few breaths to keep his fingers from shaking as he put on the condom. Shizuo parted Izaya's legs and placed his tip against the small hole. He sheathed himself as slowly as he could and the tightness that enveloped him was almost painful. Shizuo was very thankful for the condom, otherwise he knew that he would not last long. And then Izaya would laugh.<br>He was determined to set a steady pace but Izaya kept meowing with each thrust and it was breaking his self-control. Shizuo held him down and leant to reach more deeply into him. Izaya looped his arms around Shizuo and pulled him into a sloppy kiss. Shizuo picked up his speed but his aim was somewhat erratic so Izaya crossed his legs around Shizuo's lower back, thus shifting the angle in just the right way. Izaya moaned loudly and tossed back his head.  
>"Don't stop- faster…"<br>Shizuo needed no incentive. He charged ahead and came after a few thrusts, one hand working on Izaya that followed right away. Shizuo buried himself all the way to the hilt as he released in a mix of euphoria and triumph. Izaya sighed contently as Shizuo pulled out and discarded the condom.  
>"You're good…"<br>In his afterglow Izaya almost ruined this whole farce. Shizuo was getting hard all over again, years of lusting could not be done away so easily. He turned Izaya on his side and licked his ear. Shizuo put on Izaya's condom and splashed most of the remaining milk around.  
>"Round two? Oh yay~"<p> 


	12. Chapter 12

Shizuo could not refrain a moan as he returned to that tight warmth inside Izaya. He held one of his legs in the air for easier access and gave him one hard thrust. This angle allowed Shizuo's hard length to directly stimulate Izaya's weak spot. Izaya became hard within seconds and his breath hitched each time Shizuo pounded into him.  
>"Izaya…"<br>"I am so famous, you even know my name. I'm so honored."  
>Shizuo relaxed momentarily. Luck was on his side tonight, it seemed, but he was getting far too careless. He was hot all over and getting hotter. Just the sight of Izaya, so disheveled and dripping so shamelessly, was enough to almost push him over the edge. Shizuo resumed his rocking, this time he has some focus and can fuck him slowly, his hips rhythmically slamming forward. Thick pre-cum coated Izaya and his breathing becoming heavy as his need escalated.<br>Shizuo tried not be too rough but it was impossible not to go all out. He sent Izaya's body shaking and repeatedly rammed himself all the way to the hilt, irregular bursts of adrenaline had Izaya continuously gasping in between breathy moans.  
>"You're a strong boy, aren't you…hng…"<br>Izaya gave up on words. His orgasm exploded on him and he squirmed under Shizuo's relentless impact that he delivered brusquely. Izaya came almost silently, his eyes rolling underneath the blindfold, liquid pleasure coursing through him. Shizuo gave him one final thrust and forcibly held down Izaya, the redoubled tightness toppling him over. Shizuo felt the condom break but he was far too gone to stop at this point. He released into Izaya's convulsing insides, filling them completely with his seed.  
>"Izaya…sorry…"<br>"My, really strong."  
>Shizuo pulled out reluctantly. A wet whitish trail dripped down Izaya's tights. Shizuo nearly panicked but Izaya somehow found his mouth and kissed him deeply. Shizuo cleaned him as best he could, mumbling apologies all the way. He had no idea of what to do next but fortunately for him, tonight luck was on his side. Izaya was sound asleep and rolling on his side like a cat by the fireplace.<br>Shizuo hesitated for the briefest of moments then carried him back to their building. There was no way he would leave Izaya at the club when all he lacked was a 'Please Do Me' sign. Izaya slept all throughout the cab ride and it was only when Shizuo was in front of Izaya's apartment that he realized he did not have the key. Shizuo had discarded the blindfold somewhere along the way but he still did not want to wake him up at this point. He reached into the back pocket of the skin tight jeans and fished out the key.  
>"Izaya? You're home."<br>Shizuo tried to put him down but Izaya collapsed against him.  
>"Hmmm…you want more?"<br>Shizuo decided to ignore this and put it down as sleep talk. So he just placed him in bed, covering him with a blanket. He left hurriedly and Izaya was far too spent to have a snarky remark.

"Thanks for bringing me home last night, Shizu-chan. I usually just crash at the club when I get lucky and score."  
>They were sitting for a late breakfast, courtesy of Izaya. White Shizuo had spent the rest of the night and most of the morning harping on him so much so that Shizuo had not slept at all.<br>"Oh. Don't mention it."  
>Izaya ate a large portion of sea weed.<br>"Shizu-chan, I think I'm in love."  
>"You are…?"<br>It was something that Shizuo had never expected Izaya to say.  
>"Yeah. After I lost sight of you, I met this great guy. At least his fucking was good like…wow, really good. A shame I couldn't see him, he blindfolded me."<br>Shizuo did not know what to say to this. So he stuttered,  
>"Er, is that so?"<br>Izaya sighed dramatically.  
>"He did me twice…second time around he burst the condom and all. And he even knew my name."<br>Shizuo cleared his throat then drank a whole glass of orange juice.  
>"But you didn't see this guy?"<br>"I'm afraid not. Didn't get his phone number either. Shizu-chan, what should I do now! He was the best lay I've had in ages. Sure, he didn't have much experience but the potential was there."


	13. Chapter 13

Shizuo blushed.  
>"Oh, that's good…"<br>"I'll probably never see him again and even if I do, I wouldn't recognize it."  
>Izaya slumped on his seat.<br>"That's too bad."  
>Shizuo wondered if the awkwardness could get any worse. Izaya proved that it could:<br>"But I'm sure I would know it was him if he did me again…oh, I know! I could ask the club people, they might have seen him."  
>"Huh, it was pretty dark…"<br>"You're right. It's hopeless! There goes the love of my life! Shizu-chan, console me!"  
>Izaya sniffled. Shizuo had no idea of how to cheer him up. But he tried anyway.<br>"Want to go out for some tuna tonight?"  
>"Yes! Shizu-chan, it's a shame you're the straightest man in Tokyo. Just kidding!"<br>Shizuo stuttered something that was not exactly coherent. Izaya did a happy dance in his mind.

"I've decided! I'm becoming celibate until I meet the man or woman of my dreams!"  
>Izaya announced this over dinner and took a bite of fresh ootoro. Shizuo frowned.<br>"I find that hard to believe."  
>"Shizu-chan! Whatever do you mean? Are you doubting my self-control?"<br>Izaya chewed on a piece of wasabi.  
>"Dunno but you've always been…you know…"<br>"Loose?"  
>Shizuo shrugged.<br>"You know what I mean."  
>"Maybe I'm taking a cue from you. If you don't sleep around then I can do it too!"<br>"Right…"  
>"I'll prove it to you. Tonight I'll stay in. You'll see, Shizu-chan, I'll become purer than immaculate snow."<br>Shizuo chuckled.

True to his word Izaya went directly to his apartment and bid Shizuo goodnight without staying over for drinks. Shizuo was disappointed. He was glad that Izaya was not doing ten guys per night but he still believed that he would revert to his old ways in no time. Shizuo was about to call it a night when there was a knock on the door.  
>"Shizu-chan, sorry to bother you. The electricity in my place just died on me and it won't be fixed until tomorrow. I really need to do some work but my laptop battery is also dying on me. Could you save my life and let me work here? Pretty please?"<br>Shizuo did not even hesitate.  
>"Sure, okay."<br>"Thanks a bunch! You're a dear!"  
>Izaya settled comfortably as if he lived here which he almost did, all things considered. He plugged his laptop and was typing away in no time. Shizuo watched stunned as his fingers flew over the keyboard.<br>"You type so fast."  
>"It comes with the territory."<br>Shizuo prepared him some tea.  
>"Thanks. Aw, it's almost like we're living together!"<br>Izaya took a sip and the key clatter ceased. He drank slowly, waiting for the laptop to become idle. And then the screen displayed a picture of himself. A naked picture, taken from behind, Izaya looking over the shoulder with his best 'come hither' smile. Shizuo stared at it, too surprised to even look away.  
>"It's very artistic, isn't it? I modeled for this photography class once and they sent me the best shots. I'm so hopeless, I'm an egotist at heart."<br>Shizuo had no idea if it was artistic or not and he already knew that Izaya was self-centered, but currently he was too busy tracing the shape of Izaya's exposed back with his eyes.  
>"Wasn't it really embarrassing? Being naked with some many people around taking pictures…"<br>The more Shizuo thought about it, the hotter the image became.  
>"Not really. I got used to it. Besides there wasn't anyone attractive there. I did give a few boners to the male photographers and the girls were drooling. Being so hot can be a curse, you know?"<br>"Yeah…"  
>Speaking of which, Shizuo was becoming hard himself. Even Izaya's cheeky attitude seemed to turn him on.<br>"Ah, but I'm a good boy now."  
>Shizuo decided that the topic of this conversation had to change.<br>"So, what are you working on?"  
>"Information trading. I'm at the top of my game! Kanra-chan was having some fun, too."<br>"Kanra-chan?"  
>Izaya started.<br>"My! Did I say that out loud? Keep it a secret, Shizu-chan! Kanra is my female online alias. She's all the rage."  
>Shizuo blinked.<br>"You…pretend to be a girl?"  
>"Sure do. You'd be amazed what people are willing to tell a girl. If I were actually a girl maybe you'd fall for me. Heh, just kidding."<p> 


	14. Chapter 14

Shizuo blushed yet again. He knew he might regret this but he had to say it now or never.  
>"I don't really care about that…about girls or not…I mean, it's all the same to me."<br>"Why Shizu-chan! I'd never ever have guessed! That's amazing! So, are you a fifty/fifty kind of person? I know you like cute girls but what type of guy are you into?"  
>Shizuo scratched his head and swallowed a few times.<br>"Eh, I guess…it's the same?"  
>"That's vague, Shizu-chan. It's unfair, I've been sharing a lot of things but you don't tell me anything. I feel as if we're not friends."<br>Shizuo was not aware that they were friends, in fact. But now that Izaya brought it into question he could not deny it without coming across as a jerk. And he still had the distinct suspicion that Izaya was stringing him along.  
>"I suppose I like small built guys. Short dark hair, a bit quirky. And cute."<br>Izaya relapsed into deep thought. Then,  
>"Shizu-chan! Why didn't you tell me this sooner! I understand everything now!"<br>Shizuo paled considerably.  
>"You do…?"<br>"Yes! You're in love with Shinra! It explains all! All these years of unrequited love! And you're such a nice guy you'd never make a move because of Celty. But Shizu-chan, that won't do! In love, war and information gathering there are no rules!"  
>"Wait, you got it all wrong!"<br>Shizuo flailed and cursed his bad luck.  
>"You've got a shot here. It's not completely hopeless! First of all, you've got a head attached to your shoulders and that's got to count for something. Second, Shinra is a bottom is I ever saw one. And third, he already 'drops by' unexpectedly and leaves you notes!"<br>"I don't have a crush on Shinra, what are you talking about! It's you that-"  
>Shizuo slammed his mouth shut so suddenly that it hurt his teeth. Izaya rubbed his chin thoughtfully.<br>"But he fits the description perfectly, even with bonus points for glasses."  
>"I don't care about glasses."<br>"I see, you're still not ready to confide in me but that's alright. I'm always here for you, Shizu-chan."  
>Izaya smiled. Shizuo wished that Izaya did not look so insufferably pretty.<br>"Thanks but I don't really care for Shinra that way."  
>"Ah. I see."<br>Izaya winked at him in a knowing way and returned to his steady typing. Shizuo brooded in a corner, lost in reflections. He did not know long it was until Izaya turned off his laptop, stretched and said,  
>"I'm calling it a night, Shizu-chan. Back to my apartment I go, my dark apartment. Can I borrow a flashlight? I still have a few things to unpack and I'm afraid I'll end up bumping into them in the middle of the night."<br>Shizuo had a chance here and after some hesitation he decided to take it.  
>"You can stay here. I mean, I don't mind it and since you don't have light at your place…"<br>"Thanks! I'll go get my futon, then!"  
>"I'll do that for you."<br>And indeed, Shizuo did just that.  
>"Aw, you're so nice Shizu-chan. It's a bit cold, do you mind if we put my futon next to yours?"<br>Needless to say that Shizuo was too shy to ever ask this himself. He had mixed feelings but as ever, he could deny a reasonable request that was made with such candor. Shizuo knew that this was a bad idea as soon as he saw that Izaya slept only in his underwear. Normally so did Shizuo but he now made sure to put on pajamas.  
>"So…goodnight."<br>"Nighty night, Shizu-chan!"  
>Shizuo turned to the wall and tried not to think about Izaya lying so close by his side. He failed miserably. If fantasying about Izaya had never failed to turn him on, knowing exactly how it felt to hold him made that so much more obvious. Shizuo closed his eyes tightly, he was regretting this already. After a while he realized that he had to do something about it but before he could tiptoe to the bathroom Izaya broke the silence.<br>"Ah, it's been such a long time since I actually slept next to someone like this."  
>Of course Izaya was very much awake but Shizuo was not one to catch on such self-refuting arguments and especially not when he had other things in his mind. Things that included Izaya.<br>"Don't you sleep around a lot?"  
>"I don't stick around long enough for the sleeping part."<p> 


	15. Chapter 15

Shizuo should have guessed it but he still had to go and ask. He cursed himself added lamely,  
>"Oh, right."<br>"Isn't this nice? Just sleeping like this without any sexual tension? Ah, I knew that having a good friend would save me."  
>Shizuo nearly wept. He had to excuse himself to masturbate and by the time he returned, Izaya was sleeping without a care in the world. Shizuo cursed again. He was in for a sleepless night.<p>

It improved considerably when he woke up to the scent of coffee of breakfast. Izaya had fixed enough food for two and was gingerly waltzing about, adding the final touches to the meal in an oversized apron that he had borrowed from Shizuo.  
>"Good morning, Shizu-chan! Breakfast is served!"<br>"Thanks."  
>It was indeed very much like living together but he did not want to think about it.<br>"By the way, it seems that the electricity is not back at my place back so can I stay here today and do some work? I have a few things to get done and need my laptop."  
>Izaya smiled his sweetest smile.<br>"Sure, no sweat."  
>"Great! I'll make you dinner when you come back."<br>Shizuo left without knowing precisely how Izaya had managed to move in with him like this. He tried to figure it out throughout the day without reaching any conclusion and he was still wondering about it when he returned to find Izaya chopping mushrooms as if he did this every afternoon.  
>"What are you doing? Smells great."<br>"Mushroom soup and then Beijing duck."  
>Shizuo could hardly believe how much he was looking forward to this.<br>"Need some help?"  
>"No need. Food's almost ready."<br>Izaya served the meal and Shizuo wolfed it down.  
>"This is tasty! You can cook."<br>"Thank you so much, Shizu-chan! And now, back to work I go."  
>Shizuo was disappointed that Izaya parked in front of the laptop, typing away. But at least he could look at him without being caught staring. So he was caught unawares when Izaya turned the laptop at him and chirped,<br>"Shizu-chan, Shizu-chan, guess what! The internet can save me!"  
>"What…?"<br>Shizuo was confused. Izaya joined him at the sofa, laptop in hand.  
>"You know how I'm obsessing just a tad over my mystery man? Well, I gave it some thought and realized that there was a way of finding him! I posted at a forum requesting to meet the guy who 'slept with Orihara Izaya last Saturday at club so and so.'"<br>Shizuo's confusion did not lift.  
>"But you didn't see him…I'm sure plenty of guys will answer just to get a shot with you, how will you recognize the right one?"<br>Izaya lived for these moments. They made everything worthwhile.  
>"Indeed, Shizu-chan! But you see, I am sure that I'd recognize the way he fucks- if you don't mind my being so blunt. So I only need to have sex with them to find out whether they're the real deal or not!"<br>Shizuo paled to a shade of ashy-grey. Izaya was very happy and thankfully he could pull it off without hiding his glee.  
>"But…you said you were going to turn celibate."<br>"But Shizu-chan! He could be the love of my life! Do you have any other ideas?"  
>Unfortunately Shizuo had none.<br>"What if he doesn't use the internet?"  
>"Then I am doomed, doomed Shizu-chan!"<br>Izaya allowed himself to gesticulate in a flourish that was overly dramatic. He flung himself flat on the sofa. Shizuo was struggling for something to say when his phone rang. He picked it up reluctantly.  
>"Shizuo! What's with this sex ad Izaya posted online? How can you let him do such a thing, are you trying to ruin your chances on purpose?"<br>Shizuo moved away from the sofa lest Izaya overheard Shinra babbling in such a compromising way.  
>"Not now, Shinra."<br>"Oh, he's around? Then get him on the phone, I have a word to give to Izaya-kun."  
>Shizuo blinked at this and handed the phone to Izaya, with a simple,<br>"Shinra wants to talk to you."  
>Izaya took the phone and discreetly got out of hearing range.<br>"You don't really have a heart, Izaya-kun. Breaking Shizuo's heart like this."


	16. Chapter 16

"I believe it is poetic justice. For all those times Shizu-chan chased me around and threw vending machines at me. Not nice at all."  
>"You deserved all that and you know it."<br>Shinra could almost see Izaya's sly smile.  
>"I should be thanking you for handing me Shizuo on a plate that night."<br>"Of course. I've known about Shizuo's crush since I caught him sniffing your school uniform back in the eighth grade."  
>"Well thank you for playing cupid. Look forward to seeing how I handle things."<br>"Will do."  
>Still, Izaya had to admit that it was annoying that Shinra had found out about this way before he did. He returned to the living room where Shizuo was biting his nails.<br>"What do you know! Over two thousand hits in about an hour! The odds are in my favor, Shizu-chan!"

And thus Shizuo plunged into a cloud of gloom that was almost visible. The following day he nearly stayed in bed and he had to force himself to go to work. Tom noticed that his bodyguard was more silent than usual and completely out of it. They were taking a coffee break and Shizuo had already snapped two spoons and was on his way to break the third.  
>"Say, have you seen Izaya's post?"<br>"You mean Orihara Izaya? That Izaya?"  
>"Yeah, the cutie with the furry jacket. Finally I get to meet him in person!"<br>This dialogue took place in a nearby table. With each word Shizuo's eyebrow twitched. Tom knew what was coming so he decided it was time to get some extra cream from the counter.  
>"Izaya is so hot, I can't believe I've got a date with him tonight!"<br>The spoon in Shizuo's grip broke and with it so did his self-control. Shizuo was on his feet, towering over the shocked men that did not see what hit them. It turned out to be the counter itself so it was a good thing that Tom already had his cream.  
>"And don't come back! You bloody louses!"<br>His trademark insult was back and there was something satisfying in using it again. Tom waited until he returned.  
>"Shizuo, still having problems at home?"<br>Tom had never seen anyone actually chew a cigarette. He saw it now as Shizuo was apparently too riled to light it or even smoke it.  
>"Something like that."<br>Shizuo was glad that his current occupation allowed him to beat up people because he was in the mood for that. He kicked and punched even when the 'clients' were more than willing to pay. Shizuo was willing to knock out every single man in Tokyo, all the millions of them, and thus keep them from getting their dirty hands on Izaya.

As it turned out, Izaya got back home in the wee hours of the night. Shizuo was still awake after many an hour of pacing. As soon as he heard the lock turning on the door next door, he burst into the corridor.  
>"Shizu-chan! So tired, it was a long night. No luck so far."<br>"Is the light still off at your place?"  
>"Yeah."<br>"Then stay over. I don't mind."  
>Of course Izaya's futon was still in Shizuo's apartment since he had more or less moved in anyway.<br>"Can I take a shower?"  
>"Huh, sure."<br>Shizuo was not exactly sure what he wanted to say to Izaya but it was vital that he convinced him to drop this crazy search. He tired to compose his thoughts and was still engaged in that when Izaya sauntered into the bedroom, wearing nothing but a towel around his waist. Shizuo was never good at making a point and his carefully arranged arguments were wiped clean from his mind as he stared at Izaya. A mostly naked Izaya.  
>"Er, you know…Izaya, I've been thinking…you don't know anything about this guy, maybe you shouldn't have such high hopes…"<br>"Shizu-chan! It is so adorable of you to care so much for me! I'm touched."  
>And in being so he gesticulated and the towel almost dropped to the floor. Shizuo was already flailing. Izaya took the cue to add,<br>"But you know, the chemistry was there. I believe that when the sexual compatibility is that strong, the rest just follows. I know, you must feel that I am so shallow but I'm just looking for love. Shizu-chan, I just want to be loved."  
>Izaya looked away, partially because it played into his act of being embarrassed and partially because he had to bite his tongue to keep himself from bursting out laughing.<p> 


	17. Chapter 17

Shizuo gaped awkwardly.  
>"Right. Yes, love is really important."<br>Even to himself he sounded lame. Izaya faced him with sparkly tear-filled eyes, forget the Oscar, he deserved a Nobel Prize.  
>"I know it's no good. This love is one-sided."<br>"You can't know that for sure…"  
>Izaya sobbed.<br>"Yes I do. If he knows my name and he must know where I hang out but he hasn't contacted me yet. And for some reason he didn't give me his phone number or email."  
>"Well, maybe he was, you know…shy?"<br>"Why do you think so?"  
>Shizuo ran a hand through his hair.<br>"Well, you are Orihara Izaya…maybe he's intimidated."  
>Izaya pretended to give this some thought.<br>"I suppose. But I'm a friendly person all around! Right?"  
>"Yeah…but you make people nervous."<br>And particularly a certain Heiwajima Shizuo.  
>"But he should know I'm trying to find him by now, right?"<br>"It's a big city."  
>"True. It is so frustrating Shizu-chan! I can locate anyone within the Tokyo metropolitan area and beyond, so how come the one man I want to find is simply beyond my reach!"<br>Shizuo flailed.  
>"Er, even if you can't find him, I'm sure you'll meet someone that is right for you. Since you're cute and smart."<br>Izaya blinked in surprise. He was a bit sad that there was no mirror around so that he could see just how believable he looked. Then again he was still monitoring Shizuo's place so he would get around to checking out the footage eventually.  
>"Do you really mean it, Shizu-chan? Aren't you just saying that to make me feel better?"<br>"No, no, I mean it. Everyone thinks that about you."  
>Needless to say everyone also believed that Izaya was something of a bastard and they were quite right in this.<br>"Aw, you are so nice. Unrequited love hurts so much, Shizu-chan…imagine if we were a couple, we could both be so happy. Silly me! The strange ideas that cross my mind when I'm down."  
>Izaya smiled apologetically. Shizuo's own smile was watery.<br>"Heh…yeah."  
>"I wish I had someone to hold me."<br>Izaya sighed. Shizuo hesitated for what felt like the longest of times, White Shizuo and Black Shizuo joined hands in the decision that he reached.  
>"I can hug you…I mean, if you want! It's not like you have to…I mean, I'm cool with it either way but I wouldn't mind hugging you."<br>"Shizu-chan…"  
>Izaya nodded and leant against Shizuo who eventually wrapped his arms around the slim frame. It took all of Shizuo's self-control to keep his hands from straying below the waist.<br>"Shizu-chan, I have something to tell you."  
>Izaya disentangled himself from this loose embrace and looked him straight in the eyes.<br>"Yeah…?"  
>Shizuo decided on the spot that if Izaya said those three magical words, he would spill the beans and tell him everything. Minus the part about sniffing his high school uniform, that is. And omitting certain things like how he fantasized about Izaya sprawled in bed and- Shizuo pushed these thoughts away. He was so horrible at this relationship thing and there was far too much bad blood between them that he could not precisely understand how he actually had managed to have sex with him. Which was another thing he did not want to consider presently. At any rate, the mood was just right for a confession and if Izaya said it first then he was off the hook.<br>"Shizu-chan, this may seem odd coming from me and I don't know if you'll believe me…"  
>Izaya trailed off.<br>"Huh, you can tell me."  
>Shizuo's heart was beating wildly and ever so loud.<br>"I just realized that you are more than just a friend…"  
>Shizuo went as far as to open his mouth to say that he loved Izaya too. Then Izaya added,<br>"You're without a doubt my very best friend!"  
>"What…?"<br>The disappointment was almost palpable.  
>"I know, you probably don't believe me but you're the only person I can speak with like this. When I have a bad day, I can just drop by and you'll hear me out. Friendship is the best!"<br>White and Black Shizuos sat in a corner together and bewailed their doom.  
>"Right. Friendship."<p> 


	18. Chapter 18

To make matters worse, Izaya slept on his futon again, right next to Shizuo who again did not catch a wink. The next day was a Saturday and Izaya proposed that they took a stroll around Ikebukuro. Shizuo agreed even though he would rather catch on some sleep but then he began to think of all the guys that would be checking him out and eager to jump on him, and realized soon enough that he would not be able to get any shut eye even if he stayed at home.  
>"You know, Shizu-chan, the best part about having a friend is that you can spend time with him. I'm so not used to it. Even if I know you like Shinra better. After all, you've known him longer and all that."<br>"I'm fine with you too."  
>Shizuo had been kicking himself inwardly all along and much more now. Never in a million years would he believe that he'd hear the 'just friends' speech that he had heard so much of in movies and corny TV dramas. Apparently it happened in real life as well. And it disarmed Shizuo altogether. He had the feeling that his opportunity had come and gone and so a great sense of doom dominated him.<br>"Aw, you really are a sweetie, Shizu-chan!"  
>Shizuo mumbled something or other and kept on walking without even realizing that Izaya had stopped on his tracks.<br>"That's _it_! I get it now! I should have realized it sooner!"  
>For one split second Shizuo was terrified that Izaya had simply read his mind. Then he saw him point at something and jump up and down.<br>"You're my mystery man, aren't you? Simon!"  
>Shizuo tripped and nearly fell flat on his face. His jaw hit the floor. He was beyond flabbergasted.<br>"Orihara-san? Good ootoro, just arrived. Very good."  
>Izaya grabbed Simon's hands.<br>"Yes, it all makes sense now. Who else could it be! You're shy, know my name, and you're strong like wow."  
>Shizuo was still trying to close his mouth.<br>"Orihara-san?"  
>"No need to be so formal! 'Izaya' will do. How about 'Iza-chan'!"<br>Simon's grasp on the subtleties of the Japanese language could be a bit sketchy at times but he knew that grown men were not supposed to be '-chan'ed. Then again Orihara-san apparently had no issues with such things and was exceedingly fond of '-chan'ing Heiwajima-san left and right.  
>"Izaya-chan…?"<br>"Iza-chan for short! Ah, you can't read kanji, can you Simon? I see, I see. That's why you couldn't reply to the post. Ah, interracial love is so romantic and my love for fatty tuna can finally be realized to its fullest. I'd heard that black men are bigger, I guess that's true…that was not very PC of me, was it! So sorry, I'm just so happy!"  
>Shizuo did sob. There was no justice in the world. Simon was merely confused.<br>"Iza-chan…can't '-chan' a costumer, bad for business. Have tuna, is good."  
>Simon noticed Shizuo and turned to him,<br>"Heiwajima-san, no fighting with Orihara-san. Must be friends."  
>"Shizu-chan is my best friend! Simon, we have so many things to talk about! I'll talk to you later, Shizu-chan!"<br>And with this Izaya dragged a highly confused Simon away before Shizuo could even do as much as say a word. Why did the world have to hate him so.

A few blocks down Izaya let go of Simon.  
>"You know, I know some people from immigration."<br>Simon started. He had always suspected that Orihara-san was not a good guy.  
>"No calling immigration, I get you free sushi. Ootoro, best in Tokyo."<br>"First time I've ever been bribed with food. But you don't have to go that far. Just spread it around that we're dating."  
>"Orihara-san…?"<br>"I got immigration on speed dial, you know."  
>Izaya reached for his cell phone and Simon had a sudden change of heart.<br>"Iza-chan, love my life. Red string of fate. Much love. It is good."  
>Izaya chuckled.<br>"I knew you'd get it. That's really all you need to do. Feel free to throw in some fresh fish into the bargain while you're it."  
>Orihara-san left and Simon could not help feeling that he had just dodged a bullet.<p> 


	19. Chapter 19

"Simon? He's dating Simon?"  
>Shizuo nodded. He was miserable enough to actually call Shinra. They were in a small family restaurant, Shizuo having decided to drown his sorrow in sake. It was not working.<br>"Yes. It's so unfair."  
>"More like completely random."<br>Shizuo downed a few more cups.  
>"Izaya is even teaching him kanji. Why can't he teach me?"<br>"You're supposed to know that already."  
>Shizuo shook his head and sobbed.<br>"You know I can only read up to grade 7 kanji. I struggle with the rest."  
>"Right…"<br>"What does Simon have that I don't? Apart from the accent."  
>"Ask Izaya."<br>"I can't! He's out on a date or something!"  
>A very familiar face on the TV set got Shizuo's attention. Izaya was on the screen, right next to Simon. Holding hands, in fact<br>"Today's show is about interracial couples! We have Orihara-san and Simon-san with us to discuss this topic."  
>Shizuo paled. Izaya snatched the microphone from the reporter.<br>"Hello! I'm so glad I got selected to be on this show!"  
>The reporter got a new mike.<br>"Orihara-san, do you find it difficult to date a foreigner in this country?"  
>"Not at all! Of course, there is something of a language barrier but love conquers all things!"<br>Izaya gesticulated wildly. Shizuo sobbed again.  
>"See? He's even on TV! What can I do about it. Screw love, I'm done with this."<br>Shizuo discarded the use of cups altogether and drank directly from the bottle's neck. Meanwhile Simon was asked something or other and produced a lame response in broken Japanese.  
>"I did advice you to tell Izaya about your feelings."<br>Shizuo nodded.  
>"I know. But he would just make fun of me! All I want is for him to like me, is that too much to ask?"<br>"Didn't you get promoted to best friend, though?"  
>Shizuo put down the now empty bottle that nearly shattered against the counter.<br>"That's not good enough! 'Best friend', screw that. Love sucks. By the way, you're paying for this."  
>"Shizuo, wallowing in self-pity won't solve anything. You've got to go out and fight."<br>"This is all your fault. Why did you have to introduce me to him? I hold you partially responsible."  
>Shizuo ordered another bottle and emptied it on the spot. Shinra adjusted his glasses.<br>"I could not possibly guess that you'd obsess over Izaya for years to come."  
>"I bet you knew. And you planned it with him. Why does Izaya have to be so hot? Damn that Simon! Stealing Izaya from me like that!"<br>Shizuo had drunken enough alcohol to get carried away without realizing that Simon had done no such thing. He jumped to his feet and glared at no one in particular.  
>"Shizuo, calm down for a second."<br>"Calm down? That Russian is probably doing this and that with Izaya right now! When I think about it. I just get angry. Russia does not deserve to live!"  
>"Shizuo, take a deep breath. You can't blame an entire country."<br>"Why not?"  
>On the TV Izaya returned, this time holding a board with several kanji and piped in his typical chirpy way:<br>"I'm teaching Simon-chan about kanji! Simon-chan, can you read the ones on this chart? Show them your skills! I am so proud of you."  
>Simon blinked blearily.<br>"Can't read. Sorry."  
>Shizuo perked up and pointed the bottle at the TV set.<br>"Ha! I can read the first row! Take that, you Russian you!"  
>Shinra sighed quietly.<br>"You learn those in the first grade, Shizuo."  
>"Doesn't matter! So what if I can't read the others…I'm still ahead!"<br>"Why don't you just join Izaya's kanji lessons and catch up?"  
>Shinra was not particularly serious but Shizuo, either because he was too drunk or because he was too upset or whether due to a combination of both, missed that completely.<br>"I'll do that! I can't leave other men alone with Izaya. Because they'll want to do this and that and I won't put up with it!"  
>Shizuo's grip on the bottle tightened to the point of shattering it completely. Shinra had already taken shelter under the table because he was used to this kind of thing. Which left Shizuo free to ramble alone.<br>"You just watch and see, sushi man! Izaya belongs to me! Ever since middle school! I'll kill you! And then I'll kill everyone in your country! And then all the men that look at Izaya…and the women, too."


	20. Chapter 20

Simon did not even know how he ended up in Heiwajima-san's apartment, of all places, staring at row upon row of complicated characters while Izaya rambled at length about incomprehensible things that made as little sense to him as the spidery bundles of strokes. It only confirmed that the Japanese were absolutely insane and these two just happened to be the craziest of them all.  
>"Shizu-chan, I'm so glad you let us use your place! My electricity is still down."<br>It did not occur to Shizuo that it was about time Izaya got an electrician but he had way too many things on his mind to even consider that at the moment. Not to mention Shizuo was glad that Izaya was still sleeping next to him because that meant that he was at least not with Simon.  
>"No problem. I also need to refresh my memory about kanji in general."<br>Simon could feel Shizuo stabbing him with his eyes. He was beginning to think that the immigration services were perhaps not all that awful to contemplate. As to why Orihara-san was so bent on teaching him kanji he could only guess but then again, Orihara-san needed therapy. Fast. And while he was at it, he might as well take his best friend along with him.  
>"Yay!"<br>Izaya produced the chart again along with a pointer and turned to Simon who was considering returning to his beloved Russia. Simon tried to sit as apart from both Orihara-san (because he found him highly disturbing and downward frightening) and Heiwajima-san (who normally just ignored him but for some bizarre reason now seemed to hate him).  
>"Simon-chan! First row, follow the pointer!"<br>Simon did not have the faintest clue. It was pointless to even try.  
>"Ha! I know these ones! Left, Right, Big, Small, Hand, Eye."<br>Izaya bit his lips to keep himself from laughing. Apparently Shizuo believed that his knowledge of highly simple kanji was something to be proud of. Izaya clapped.  
>"That's right! And look, you're out of tea! I'll go get some!"<br>And with this Izaya skipped away and was soon gone after waving some. Shizuo waited until his steps receded into silence altogether. Then he glowered.  
>"Simon-kun? I already know you've been lying to Izaya and just for that I'm gonna kill you. What I want to know is if you've done this and that with him. Because if you have…death will be too soft a punishment."<br>Simon flailed. To make matters worse, he had only the vaguest idea of what Heiwajima-san was even saying, his grasp on foreign languages got considerably slippery when he was cornered like this.  
>"No, no, no, no touching Orihara-san, no. Would never do that, no."<br>Simon nodded for nonlinguistic emphasis. Heiwajima-san towered above him, knuckles cracking.  
>"Oh really. Are you saying Izaya isn't good enough for you? Is that it? Are you insulting my Izaya?"<br>Simon wondered in all seriousness if his knowledge of the Japanese language was decaying. Because he could just swear that Heiwajima-san had just said 'my Izaya' which made no sense whatsoever. He tried to think.  
>"Orihara-san, is very pretty. Respect him, yes."<br>In fact Simon lived in sheer fright of Orihara-san, yes. Unfortunately the answer did not please Heiwajima-san who suddenly landed a punch on Simon that sent him flying into those ever so thin walls.  
>"I knew it! So you were drooling over Izaya! You're so dead now that you don't even know it. Dead with the kanji for fucking DEAD!"<br>Simon did not even have time to put up a defense because Shizuo simply picked him up and threw him off the window.  
>"And stay out!"<br>Simon landed a few blocks south and made such a crater as Tokyo had not seen since WWII. That very day he bought his ticket (and there went his entire savings) to Moscow. One way. He was done with insane Japan, its crazy kanji and its crazier inhabitants.  
>Shizuo was trying to pinpoint where Simon had landed, it looked somewhere around West Ikebukuro judging by the pillar of dirt that he caused on impact, when it occurred to him that Izaya would return at any moment and he needed some explanation for what had just happened. He panicked, nothing came to mind. And then luck saved him. Shizuo spotted a tiny camera device. So that Russian scum was spying on his Izaya since he had moved in with Shizuo.<p> 


	21. Chapter 21

Here was his excuse and the fact that there was no nexus of causality was utterly irrelevant. Such things had never bothered him anyway.  
>And just in time for Izaya was back and blinking at the wrecked surroundings.<br>"What happened…?"  
>Shizuo took the chance to wave the tiny camera around.<br>"Izaya! That Russian guy was stalking you! See! He was spying on you! So I threw him out of the window."  
>Now here was something not even Izaya had anticipated. He brought to mind very sad kittens in Siberia, during the winter, in the snow. Izaya's eyes filled with tears because he was that good.<br>"How could he? Shizu-chan, I thought I had found the love of my life!"  
>Izaya flung himself into Shizuo's arms and cried softly. Shizuo's heart skipped a beat. He had to calm himself down lest he stuttered.<br>"It's okay- I'm here for you."  
>Izaya sobbed.<br>"Shizu-chan, my heart is broken."  
>"I'll make you some tea."<br>Shizuo cursed himself, what a pathetic thing to say. He needed to offer comfort. Shizuo remembered that in TV dramas the supportive best friend often got promoted to significant other if he timed things just right. Unfortunately timing, along with reading the mood, were not Shizuo's strongest points. So he fixed a cup of them and handed it to Izaya who huddled on the sofa, tears still steaming down his cheeks.  
>"Hey, hey, it's okay. Drink some."<br>Izaya sipped. Shizuo was about to offer him a handkerchief but at the last moment he was influenced by cheesy movies and decided to wipe the tears instead. He would rather kiss them away but this was not completely bad either.  
>"Thank you, Shizu-chan."<br>Izaya leant his head against Shizuo's shoulder and they sat side by side.  
>"You'll be fine. Don't worry."<br>"Have you ever had your heart broken? How do you cope with it!"  
>It happened to Shizuo far too often given how prone to sleeping around Izaya was. And he usually handled it by kicking stuff around and throwing a vending machine or two. Usually at Izaya himself, in fact.<br>"I just…try to look ahead?"  
>Izaya snuggled against him.<br>"You are so mature. I'm glad that I didn't even get to first base with him."  
>"You didn't? Great! I mean, that's a good thing."<br>Shizuo wanted to celebrate.  
>"Yes…but I'm shattered. Why can't I find someone that likes me? And not just for the sex. But I'd like that too. I'm so needy."<br>Izaya's voice trembled slightly. He clung to Shizuo and wept some more. Shizuo's mind was having something of a shutdown. He had to swallow a few times to clear his throat and he was still in a muddle as to what to say. All this clinging was not exactly helping either. At length he managed to stutter something vaguely coherent.  
>"Eh, I like you, I mean- you're nice and pretty and cute. And it's not like I'd mind to, you know, eh…sleep with you."<br>Izaya bit his lips again. This was priceless. Shizuo interpreted his silence by breaking it hastily,  
>"But only if you want, that is! It's not as if I'd force you- nothing like that."<br>"Shizu-chan…that is so nice of you. But forcing yourself into this…"  
>Shizuo gave him a really weak smile. Dark Shizuo and White Shizuo were both floored.<br>"No, don't worry about that."  
>Now was of course the time for Shizuo to make his grand confession. The one he had been dreading and dreaming about for years. But Izaya got ahead of him.<br>"Shizu-chan! Why didn't you tell me this sooner?"  
>Shizuo started.<br>"You mean…you knew?"  
>This was a rollercoaster indeed, suddenly Shizuo felt as if he had a real chance.<br>"Not up to this point!"  
>Izaya got even closer and crawled into his lap. Shizuo wondered if this was a dream.<br>"Izaya…"  
>Shizuo kissed him, hungrily. Izaya was left breathless.<br>"Aw, why didn't you tell me sooner that you wanted to be friends with benefits?"


	22. Chapter 22

"Friends with…benefits?"  
>"Sure. It's really popular nowadays. Friends that have sex without all the baggage that comes with a relationship. Shizu-chan, it's perfect for us."<br>Izaya grinded their hips together, ever so slightly. Shizuo did not know whether he wanted to cry or just hold him down and do him. Or both, actually.  
>"Right. Sure, sounds good."<br>Izaya took the opportunity for sliding out of his jacket and to strip down completely. Shizuo wiped a bloody nose, apparently such things happened in real life as well. And then he simply pushed Izaya on the sofa and clambered on top of him. He could not believe his luck.  
>"Shizu-chan…be gentle."<br>Izaya had to recall that the sad kittens were also without health insurance. Shizuo nearly died of cuteness overload. Not to mention he was beyond horny.  
>"Sure- I won't hurt you."<br>Izaya closed his eyes as Shizuo rubbed against him. Shizuo flailed some as he hunted for a condom in Izaya's now discarded pants. Izaya got on all fours and wiggled his ass as if to mimic those poor kittens.  
>"No need for that. Just come here."<br>Shizuo obeyed, he was not even sure he could object to anything Izaya said at this point. Izaya got him to kneel on the sofa in front of him and neatly unzipped and exposed his erection in one fluid gesture. This was the first time Izaya could actually stare since it did not break his flawless cover. He licked the moist tip and Shizuo had to brace himself not to simply spontaneously combust.  
>"Shizu-chan…so big."<br>Shizuo licked his lips. He had a great view of Izaya's pretty face hovering so close to his hard dick, a bit of tongue sticking out and then his sloping back and pert ass. It was enough to almost make him come.  
>"Sorry, it's just that you're-"<br>Words disappeared from his mind as Izaya slid him into his hot warm mouth and sucked. For once Shizuo was close to actually being grateful for Izaya's slutty ways because he sure knew how to give a blowjob. From the way he washed his tongue over heated flesh to how he applied his lips as if he was kissing. Shizuo patted dark smooth hair and looked down to see Izaya closing his eyes in concentration.  
>"Izaya- I'm about to come…"<br>Which of course Izaya knew very well. And he did commend Shizuo for keeping himself from just fucking his mouth. He let Shizuo's member slid out, a thread of spittle hanging in the air.  
>"I want to taste it. Please, Shizu-chan?"<br>Izaya batted his eyelashes. Needless to say that he still plenty of cameras catching all this in HD. Shizuo actually did pinch himself.  
>"If- if you want to…"<br>Izaya resumed his expert ministrations. Shizuo released in a warm salty jet at which Izaya lapped contently. He made sure that a trickle reached his chin. Shizuo saw white as he felt Izaya swallow his stuff. He pulled Izaya into a messy kiss and roved his hands over his naked body.  
>"My, Shizu-chan. Still horny?"<br>Shizuo nodded and blushed comically.  
>"It's just that…."<br>He did have a point but somehow he could not exactly recall what it was. Something to do about how hot Izaya was and how absolutely crazy he was over him. Izaya reached for a bottle of lube from his jacket (that he had of course placed on a nearby chair so as not to get dirty) and coated his fingers with it.  
>"Want to see me get ready?"<br>Shizuo nodded. This was not particularly necessary but Shizuo made a great voyeur and he did not even know it. Izaya sat with his legs spread open and pushed a wet finger inside. He was already full hard but he never said no to being watched. Izaya did hope that Shizuo did not end up nose bleeding because if there was any blood present it should because he had been playing with his pet switchblade. But he was playing Nice!Izaya at the moment which was every bit as fun.  
>Shizuo swallowed as Izaya added another finger and stretched. Tiny beads of sweat covered soft skin and a bit of precum fell to the floor. Izaya moaned and remembered that he had also a sound surround system installed to better spy on Shizuo. He had to banish the thought because it was the kind of thing he got off to and he was in for some delayed gratification presently.<p> 


	23. Chapter 23

Izaya looked away briefly then turned his best big eyed expression to Shizuo. He got on all fours again and said,  
>"Shizu-chan, will you comfort me with your body?"<br>It was sheer genius. Just enough faux shyness, just enough teasing, perfect all around. Bonus points for corny begging with hints of fluffiness. Izaya had to bite his lips lest the fit of giggles that threatened to bubble up finally exploded. Shizuo gaped. His mind was dead and could not process thought.  
>"But doing it like this is a bit…"<br>"That's what is so great about it, Shizu-chan. So primal and raw."  
>"Oh. Right."<br>Truth to be told Shizuo had no idea what 'primal' meant. But he did not even care. In a heartbeat he was behind Izaya, in two he had his hands planted on his hips and in three he was sheathed inside.  
>"…tight."<br>Izaya braced himself and meowed at the sudden intrusion.  
>"Move, Shizu-chan."<br>Izaya did not need to say that again. Shizuo thrust rapidly and without having much of a rhythm but it did not even matter. Size and sheer need made up for faulty technique so that Izaya did not even have to fake a loud moan. He had indeed discovered something that Shizuo actually could do.  
>"Izaya- you like me?"<br>"Best friends forever!"  
>Shizuo could have wept but he was already toppling over and grunting into Izaya's ear as he came inside him. Izaya arched his back and followed a few thrusts later. Orgasm made trolling so much better. Shizuo pulled out regretfully and only after riding out a blinding climax.<br>"You're good, Shizu-chan…so much like my mystery man. Sorry about the sofa, it got dirty."  
>"Oh, it's okay."<br>Shizuo swallowed and tried to compose himself.  
>"Wasn't this wonderful? We can now have all the sex we want without having to worry about ruining our friendship. It's perfect. Until Shizu-chan finds a girlfriend or goes back to Shinra."<br>Izaya pouted. Shizuo struggled for a convincing declaration.  
>"That won't happen. Izaya, don't you think that we should- you know-"<br>Shizuo remembered having read something about how important eye contact when revealing emotions so he made sure he tried that now.  
>"You want to us to go steady as sex friends? Sure! I'm all for! I can save some time in my schedule."<br>He reached for a PDA from his jacket and checked.  
>"Let me see, Fridays are free for clubbing and casual sex but Saturdays I can leave free just for you!"<br>Izaya showed him the blank slot kept for him. Right between other slots allotted to strangers. Why did fate hate him so.  
>"Right…I see."<br>"Imagine being exclusive! But of course that wouldn't do! It's not as if we're a couple or anything like that!"  
>Izaya giggled at this joke. Shizuo's heart dropped.<p>

"So…you have sex but somehow you're not together like a couple?"  
>Shinra asked over some drinks. He was back with Shizuo at the family restaurant and again his companion was trying to outdrink a fish.<br>"Yes. He says we're 'friends with benefits'."  
>Shizuo sobbed and emptied a bottle of sake.<br>"Is that all that bad? I mean, you're all set."  
>"Of course it's bad! Just who do you think I am? I'm not just a horny guy that wants to get it on with him! I'm that too but I want his heart as well!"<br>Shinra adjusted his glasses. Thanks to Shizuo's angry outburst he had lost his favorite sushi place so he was not particularly happy.  
>"Does he even have one? Heart, that is."<br>"Of course he does! You're the one dating people that lack organs! At least Izaya is human!"  
>"…we think."<br>Shizuo waved the bottle around.  
>"He's still doing other guys! Just one night stands, how can they match my love for him? I've loved Izaya since kindergarten!"<br>"…you didn't know him at the time."  
>"Whatever!"<br>Shinra sighed.  
>"Why don't you just try to tell him about these amazing feelings of yours once and for all?"<br>Shizuo flailed.  
>"It's- complicated. I've tried many times! Don't think I didn't! I even wrote a letter in our sophomore year! I still carry it!"<br>Shinra could hardly believe it but indeed Shizuo produced a folded paper sheet and proceeded to shove it in his face.  
>"You really don't know kanji…"<br>"I told you already! I'm not good with words! Here, you fix the letter! You're smart."


	24. Chapter 24

Shinra took the crumpled paper and tried to straighten out the many creases.  
>"'Izaya! You're a bloody flea!' I thought this was supposed to be a love letter?"<br>"And it is. That's just the greeting."  
>"Right…not very friendly."<br>"Just keep on reading!"  
>"'Just wanted to tell you that I wouldn't mind dating you- it's not like I like you or anything! Don't get the wrong idea, you louse! By the way, you are cute but your personality sucks big time.' Oh dear."<br>Shizuo took a swig of sake.  
>"There's still more."<br>"I'm afraid of reading the rest."  
>Shinra took a breath and carried on reading.<br>"'So maybe I like you just a bit. I still hate you a lot more just so you know! And it's not as if I'm gay or anything, you're more like a girl than anything else. So there! And you better accept this or I'll kill you for real! You just wait and see!  
>Signed, Heiwajima Shizuo.<br>Ps: I mean 'koi' as in that trippy kanji for 'love', not the squiggly one for pretty carp fish.'"  
>Shinra tried not to laugh but he failed completely.<br>"Don't make fun of me! I'm very serious."  
>"The carp fish! I'm sorry, it's just so random."<br>"I wanted to be clear about what I meant."  
>"It's a good thing you didn't get around to sending this."<br>Shinra suspected that Izaya would make copies and post them all over school. Shizuo was mumbling something or another when Izaya, of all people, waved through the window and waltzed in their direction. Panic struck Shizuo who suddenly swallowed the letter before Izaya could get near enough to see it.  
>"Shizu-chan! Shinra! Such a coincidence, running into you guys like this. Wait, am I interrupting something…?"<br>Shizuo shook his head and tried not to choke on paper.  
>"No, no, nothing like that."<br>"Really…?"  
>Izaya sounded suspicious. Shinra adjusted his glasses again, they kept slipping whenever he laughed too hard.<br>"Shizuo was telling me about his job."  
>"I was? Oh yeah, sure!"<br>Without a doubt Shizuo was the worst liar in the history of bad liars.  
>"Can I join you guys?"<br>"Of course!"  
>Izaya took the opportunity for sitting next to Shizuo, knees touching.<br>"Thanks. Oh, were you playing a drinking game? Sounds fun!"  
>"Shizuo may be a tad tipsy already."<br>"That's all good! I had a date with a girl tonight but something came up. But I still got this coupon for a night at a love hotel. I'm out of partners, though. You can have it, Shizu-chan."  
>Shizuo blinked at the slip of paper and almost ate it too.<br>"Girl…?"  
>"I figured I had been bottoming too much so I turned to females. It's so great being bisexual! If one gender just isn't doing it for you all you have to do is switch to the other!"<br>Shizuo could have wept. He nearly did.  
>"Why don't you just take Izaya to the hotel?"<br>"My, what an idea! Shizu-chan wouldn't like that, I'm sure…he'd be so embarrassed going to such a place with me."  
>Shizuo blinked a few times. His mind was never too sharp but it was considerably slowed down by alcohol.<br>"Love hotel? You mean…as in…_love hotel_? I'm all for!"  
>Shinra chuckled.<br>"Not with the kanji for colorful carp fish."  
>Izaya looked shy.<br>"But Shizu-chan…aren't you getting fed up of doing it with me so much? You must be getting bored by now."  
>"Not bored at all! We can go, as in, right now if you want!"<br>"But I still haven't had dinner. Shinra, Shizuo might have told you already but we now fuck- I mean, have sex."  
>"So I've heard."<br>"Shizu-chan, maybe you have someone you want to take instead. I won't hold it against you."  
>Shizuo was drunk enough to jump to his feet and announce,<br>"There's no one else for me! Since…kindergarten!"  
>Izaya blinked as Shinra had a face palm moment.<br>"Kindergarten?"  
>"Yes! Even if I didn't know you back then. I'm sure that…yeah."<br>This was almost as awkward and senseless as the fabled love letter. And it could get so much worse if Shizuo kept on babbling. Izaya pouted.  
>"Shizu-chan just agreed because he is drunk."<br>"I'm not drunk! I can walk on a straight line, see."  
>And Shizuo made the point by staggering then falling on top of Izaya.<p> 


	25. Chapter 25

"Shizu-chan, welcome home!"  
>Izaya skipped around in a pink frilly apron. And nothing else. Shizuo watched him with his jaw ajar.<br>"Izaya…?"  
>"Shizu-chan, do you want dinner, a bath or…me?"<br>Shizuo had no idea what was going on but Izaya was playing the frills and there was no way Shizuo could possibly not take advantage.  
>"You. Without a doubt, you."<br>"Oh, Shizu-chan! And guess what I made for dinner?"  
>"What?"<br>Not that Shizuo cared one way or another.  
>"Koi fish!"<br>Shizuo snapped wide awake at this. He turned around only to find Shinra shaking his head.  
>"It was a dream…? Why! Why must it be a dream! I'd eat a thousand carps for Izaya's sake!"<br>"That's really impressive…I suppose. But this is why you should not drink too much. And before you ask, Izaya left with his date."  
>"Why, Shinra. Why must it always be like this? All I want is Izaya's undying affection forever and his love for all eternity! Is that too much to ask?"<br>Shinra sighed.  
>"Yes it is. But don't just stay there complaining, if you hurry up, you can still catch them."<br>Shizuo shook his head and did not budge.  
>"Why bother."<br>"Unless you want him to do this and that with girls…"  
>And with this Shizuo was on his feet right away.<br>"Why can't he just be gay? Can't compete with girls on top of everything!"  
>Shizuo took off and carried on ranting because clearly having an interlocutor was irrelevant.<br>"Have to kill every girl in 'bukuro now! That's a lot of people and if you add the guys that already want him- damn you, Izaya! Why do you have to be so hot. Can't think properly when you're around."  
>Alcohol was still in his system so when he passed by a store he bought a pretty pink apron and ran to catch up. Izaya leisurely strolled with his date, slowly enough.<br>"Izaya!"  
>"Hello Shizu-chan, glad to see you're feeling better!"<br>Shizuo waved the apron around.  
>"You girl, get lost! You're not good enough for Izaya!"<br>A growl was enough to send her fleeing.  
>"So mean, Shizu-chan! What if she was actually the love of my life and you just scared her away!"<br>A few tears filled his eyes. Shizuo coughed a few times.  
>"Well, she wasn't!"<br>"How do you know? I thought you liked me, that we were friends."  
>Shizuo had come too far and was still half drunk so backing off at this point was simply not an option.<br>"I know because the love of your life is me! That's right! But it's- not I like you or anything! Oh no, I don't just like you! I love you! Since kindergarten!"  
>Just as he began this jumbled tirade the surrounding larger than life screen became alive and broadcasted Shizuo rambling. For the entire Ikebukuro to see. Izaya knew that hijacking them was worth all the trouble. And of streaming it online, too.<br>"Shizu-chan, that's so romantic of you! Making such a public confession. I am so touched."  
>Only now did Shizuo realize the screens. He flailed wildly.<br>"Wait, I'm on TV now?"  
>"Yes!"<br>Shizuo literally eeked. He struggled for words.  
>"Izaya, what I wanted to say is that, you see, my love for you is deeper than Tokyo Bay! And Tokyo Bay is pretty deep, you know!"<br>In the background Shinra shook his head.  
>"Aw!"<br>"So, I think you should wear this."  
>Shizuo waved the apron some more.<br>"But Shizu-chan, we're in public…"  
>"Just put it over your clothes!"<br>Izaya complied and turned around frisky as could be. Shizuo was floored.  
>"Want to use that coupon, Shizu-chan?"<br>"Yeah!"  
>Somewhere along the way Shizuo had forgotten that he was still being broadcasted to the entire nation. And the world, actually. Izaya was going to subtitle all this when he got around to it. Because the deaf and foreign populations deserved to see Shizuo making an idiot out of himself.<br>"Shizu-chan, does that mean you want to do this and that with me? I'm so happy."  
>"Sure, I mean I love you after all."<br>Ikebukuro as a whole face palmed. At a nearby restaurant Kadota sighed. Erika and Walker ran around wildly. Kida and Mikado were stupefied into silence. And at that exact time Tom just happened to be passing by.  
>"Shizuo…? What are you doing?"<p> 


	26. Chapter 26

Izaya jumped between the two.  
>"Shizu-chan was just telling me that he wants to ravage me while I wear this kinky thing he just got me. So naughty of him!"<br>"Don't forget the love part! That's important! Don't go thinking I only like the sex!"  
>"Shizu-chan thinks about me when he masturbates."<br>And with that Izaya played one of the many clips of footage he had acquired over time. Tom was silent for a while. Then,  
>"I don't think I'll ever be able to see you in the same light."<br>"What is that supposed to mean! It's normal to do that while you think of the girl you love"  
>"…he's a guy."<br>"Doesn't matter!"  
>"Okay…how come he has this on video, anyway?"<br>Shizuo scratched his head.  
>"Dunno. But you can't deny my love."<br>Tom was simply confused.  
>"Didn't you hate Izaya…?"<br>"No! No, no, no. Don't listen to him, Izaya!"  
>"Shizu-chan…does Shizu-chan hate me? Will he throw a vending machine at me?"<br>"Why are you talking as if Shizuo isn't right here hearing all this?"  
>Tom was more puzzled by the second.<br>"No hate! Just real love!"  
>In his half drunken state Shizuo remembered those dramas and took his cue from them. He went down on one knee. Even Izaya was surprised at this.<br>"Izaya, I want to spend the rest of my life with you and be the only one to get to do this and that with you."  
>Tom turned to Shinra.<br>"What is he going on about?"  
>"No one knows for sure."<br>Izaya got Shizuo on his feet and danced around with him.  
>"Whee!"<br>Shizuo ended up falling on his face.  
>"Shizu-chan, Shizu-chan! Are you okay?"<br>"I'm fine, just fine. Love conquers all things."  
>"Really?"<br>Izaya brightened up in his quirky way. Shizuo wiped some blood off his forehead.  
>"Love conquers all things."<br>"All things?"  
>Shizuo nodded.<br>"All things!"  
>"Oh yay! Because, guess what Shizu-chan? I know you went for some frottage when I had a fever and was half out of it."<br>Shizuo was floored. People around began to comment that this Shizuo person was absolutely awful.  
>"But- but- I couldn't help it! I felt very bad afterwards! Really!"<br>"Is that so? Not bad enough not to blindfold and fuck me senseless."  
>Shizuo flailed even more.<br>"Wait! It wasn't like that! I was just trying to show my love!"  
>Tom gave up on making any sense out of this.<br>"Shizu-chan doesn't like me, he just lusts after my body. It is so depressing."  
>Izaya's eyes welled up with tears.<br>"No crying, please."  
>Izaya was having the time of his life. This was even better than sex. Of so he thought until Shizuo, channeling some cheesy show or another, decided to hug him to show the depth of his feelings that compared to Tokyo Bay. And kept on hugging.<br>"-can't-breathe-"  
>Bone broke. Izaya could not even scream because his lungs were being crushed. Shinra called an ambulance and then quietly walked to them.<br>"Shizuo? You might want to let him go now. Before he dies."  
>"Oh no!"<br>Shizuo laid him on the ground, worry making him almost delicate.  
>"Fuck you Shizu-chan! I hope you land in Tokyo Bay and see how deep it really is for yourself! And add some cement to your shoes!"<br>The ambulance arrived and he was lifted on a stretcher. For once in his life Izaya completely lost his cool as was shown by the barrage of insults. Shizuo followed him into the ambulance.  
>"It's okay, Izaya. Sorry I hurt you but love conquers all things so I'm sure it'll conquer this as well."<br>Shinra burst out laughing. Tom shook his head. Izaya literally fumed.  
>"Fuck off! I don't want you here! I was trolling you, okay? I bloody hate your guts. Always have, always will. I spied on you this whole time, your apartment is bugged from top to bottom! I never dated Simon, it was all for the sake of making fun of you!"<br>Shizuo nodded.  
>"It's okay, that's just the pain talking."<br>Izaya gritted his teeth. He never realized that Tokyo had these many curves as now that the ambulance swayed madly from side to side.  
>"No it isn't! You're the butt of the joke, stop being so happy!"<br>"Love conquers-"  
>"Fghghfhg, <em>die!<em>"  
>"-all things. So don't worry! I'll take care of you in the hospital, bring you your food, wheel you around in a chair-"<br>"_What the fuck?_"  
>"-bathe you, read to you at night- but no kanji, I can't read that. I'm sorry."<br>"I hate you so very much that I have no words to properly express my profound and utter loathing."  
>"It's okay. Because love is a beautiful thing."<br>Izaya foamed at the mouth. His gamble most definitely did not pay off. At times even the smartest informant could be outplayed. But that, like some many things, must not be said.

**The End.**


End file.
